We Don't Pump Gas

August 27, 2007

In this summer’s litany of Shore tee shirts this one stands out: “Jersey Girls Don’t Pump Gas.” ( www.greatwhitesharkcapemay.com/tshirts.html).

Of course we don’t.

Carmela Soprano with her hand on the trigger? Brooke Shields paying cash up front at the counter inside? Queen Latifah correctly restoring the nozzle to its cradle?

Of course, there are no self-service gas stations here. New Jersey and Oregon are the only states where self-serve is banned. Governor Corzine briefly noodled with changing this, but was rebuffed by citizens who want to keep full service intact.

Like they say, this is a good thing and a bad thing.

It is a good thing when you are dressed to the nines and filling up leaves you with a gasoline headache and body-enveloping odor.

It is a bad thing because when you leave New Jersey, since you never do it here, you don’t know how.

Massachusetts, for one, expects all its citizens to know how to pump gas. The Mass Pike rest stops we visited recently are completely self-serve, although handicapped customers are advised by a sign on the pump that they are entitled to help. It’s still an issue for these drivers (www.disabilitiesunlimited.org/driving94.shtml), because of the built-in hassle of finding someone to help you.

We are not handicapped, so when we pleaded for help an orange-vested employee stopped dumping garbage pails to mumble advice but refused to assist us further.

Later, we found a handy on-line guide, www.ehow.com/how_1331_fill-gas-tank.html, which still doesn’t address the question of how the unable but not disabled can deftly achieve lifting, inserting, screwing, hanging, without spilling and smelling like a puddle of gas.

Our advice: fill up before you get on the road. And never leave the state without someone to help you pump the gas.

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We Don't Pump Gas

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